“Find a large grizzly bear. Punch it in the face. It’s cool; no more PETA. If you enjoy it like we do, keep it up. Punch every bear you can find. Punch a cougar. Good times are hard to come by in the Apocalypse. If you accidentally kill the bear, don’t let that good meat and coat go to waste. Cubs make cool post-apocalyptic pets.”

— How To Survive the Mayan Apocalypse: a 12-step plan by Nick Offerman and Chris Pratt